angiesthoughts

African-American women are thirty-five percent more likely to be abused by their partners than their white counterparts. Whe one person in a relationhip tries to dominate or control the other it is called spousal abuse or domestic abuse. A man or woman can be abused by their partner, typically the woman the one being abused.

There are different types of domestic abuse. A person may suffer physical, mental, financial, or even sexual abuse. The abusers goal is to make his/her partner feel isolated and dependent solely on him/her. It is believed by some that domestic abuse is about anger and rage. They believe that a person that abuses another can not help themselves. This is not true. An abuser has enough control to hit only where the bruises will not show. Often when the police are called they are calm and collected, while the woman is the one that appears hysterical. If an abuser was angry and just wanted to hit someone then the only person that he/she hits would not always be the same person.

Women of color usually remain in their abusive relationships. The reason for this is not clear. However it may be due to the fact that African-American women have fewer options when seeking a marital partner. African-American women are hesitant to involve the police because of racial prejudices in the justice system. Another reason is their reluntance to seek help from shelters or to get counseling because they feel these domestic abuse services are to benefit white women. Many of these women kill their abusers before getting help.

These are signs of an abusive relationship. If you answer yes to any of these questions seek help.

Are you afraid of your partner?
Does your partner make you feel that you can’t do anything right?
Do you believe that you deserve to be hurt?
Do you feel helpless?
Do you wonder if your going crazy?
Does your partner have a bad temper?
Does your partner threaten to hurt or kill you?
Does your partner force you to have sex?
Does your partner make you feel less than what you are?
Are you embarrassed to be around your famil and friends?
Does your partner blame you for the abuse?
Does your partner constantly check on you?

Warning signs of Domestic violenc are:

*frequent “accidental” injuries
*frequently absent from school or work
*fear of partner
*changes in personality
*isolated from friends and loved ones
*may not have everyday necessities
*may be depressed or have low self-esteem

If you need help or know someone that needs help call the National domestic hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. A woman anywhere in the United States will be able to find help to get away from her violent abuser.

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